Sales Person (SP): Hello, Mr. Hunter?
Me: Yes?
SP: I am with (fill in the blank software company) and I have GOOD NEWS to tell you about our solution, which is the number one in the
market.
Me: How do you measure that?
SP: Excuse me?
Me: How do you measure “#1”? You’re not a public company
so I can’t independently verify that you sell more product than your
competition. You advertise with the magazine that just gave you that big award,
so that’s not very helpful. I don’t hear much about you from people I respect.
So what exactly does “#1” mean?
SP: Well sir, we are the most configurable system on the
market.
Me: OK, so you don’t have an answer to the “What’s #1?” question. Got it. Now, how do you know that you have the most configurable system on the market?
Me: Do you have an economic relationship with that
(person / publication)?
SP: Excuse me?
Me: You know, do you pay them money before they say nice
things about you?
SP: Oh I assure you sir, integrity is very important to
our company.
Me: I’ll take that as a “yes.” So let’s examine integrity
for a minute. Do you pay your sales people immediately upon closing the sale,
or do you stagger the commission based on measurable customer satisfaction?
SP: Excuse me?
SP: What does that have to do with anything sir?
SP: Sir, our sales people are the best in the business. I
assure you that they are absolutely committed to your success.
Me: Uh huh. Tell me please, what percentage of your
customers that have been in operation for over six months picked up a phone and
called a friend to recommend your system in the last month?
SP: Um, sir, we don’t keep those statistics.
Me: OK, how about this one. What is the average tenure of
your sales professionals?
SP: Excuse me?
Me: You know, how long do the sales people hang around?
SP: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: My experience has been that sales people who sell a
good product want to stick around because the margins are good, and their
repeat business is a high percentage of sales, which means they make club
faster which means they make money easier. Good sales people leave companies
that sell crappy products because their percentage of repeat business to new
business is low, which means their cost of sales is higher, which means it is
harder to make their number. So they sell what they can and leave. Or the
company hires bad sales people who hoodwink the prospects, get the company in
deep puckey, and then split before their commission gets dinged. Either way,
the longer your sales people stick around, the better it is for me. So how long
have they been around?
SP: Sir, if I could just direct you to the fact that
there is no better system on the market to handle your recruiting /
compensation / hiring / onboarding needs…
Me: What are they?
SP: Excuse me?
Me: You can’t possibly know that your system is the best
fit for my needs without knowing my needs. So what are they?
SP: Sir, our research shows that everyone is trying to
(lower costs / get better data / implement faster / get leading edge
technology).
Me: But I don’t have any of those problems. And by
telling me that those are the problems you solve, you are telling me that you
sell the same piece of commoditized junk that everyone else is selling. So, can
you relate any of my problems to any of the uniqie features of your solution
such that I will look like a genius for picking you and my company will sell
more widgets in the marketplace?
SP: No, sir, but if you would let us come in an do a
presentation I am sure we could figure that out together.
Me: OK, how much?
SP: Excuse me?
Me: How much of your commission am I going to get for
helping you figure out how to sell to me?
Brilliant. Practically a script for how I would like to handle calls from software sales personnell.
Posted by: Shally | September 14, 2006 at 03:12 PM
Jeff:
Reading David Maister's post "Can We Be Manipulated" on his leadership blog - and the interesting comments - I was reminded of your post here.
http://davidmaister.com/blog/295/#comments
Posted by: Amitai Givertz | January 05, 2007 at 12:13 PM
Hey, Jeff:
I guess I'm on a roll.
Nothwithstanding this may not be "an average" sales call, I found this on Colin Kingsbury's HRMDirect Blog, felt it would add to your thread:
http://www.hrmdirect.com/hrm2/blog/comments.php?y=06&m=12&entry=entry061214-192613
Posted by: Amitai Givertz | January 07, 2007 at 06:22 PM
Well aren't you the clever one, rooting out that salespersons desire to make a buck. So you work for free I suppose? Maybe you're just to bright to understand that you have a job due to those irratating sales people. Those sales people willing to go out and put up with a lot of crap so your company can survive. If you disagree then please show me one successful company that has no sales people.
Posted by: David | September 05, 2007 at 09:00 AM
sales people put up with very awkward customers like you, it's their job to generate business for companies and their job is as important as developing the damn software you use.
Posted by: dave | November 20, 2008 at 05:19 PM
sales people put up with very awkward customers like you, it's their job to generate business for companies and their job is as important as developing the damn software you use.
Posted by: dave | November 20, 2008 at 05:20 PM
sales people put up with very awkward customers like you, it's their job to generate business for companies and their job is as important as developing the damn software you use.
Posted by: dave | November 20, 2008 at 05:20 PM
sales people put up with very awkward customers like you, it's their job to generate business for companies and their job is as important as developing the damn software you use.
Posted by: dave | November 20, 2008 at 05:20 PM
ANybody can write theoretically about anything. The guy who writes it must not have faced the actual situation. Implementing something practically is much different. DO not write such crap in future.
Posted by: N | February 06, 2010 at 12:44 AM